


Never Going Back

by W01FS0NG



Category: Lost
Genre: Gen, Jack may or may not be an ass, Mention of Desmond, Mention of Lapidus, Oceanic Six, Penny's Freighter, Sayid is a good friend, Season/Series 05, Shouting Matches, Sun is a good friend, first person POV, hotel maid, mediumship, mention of Locke's death, visits
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-26
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-17 14:09:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29718372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/W01FS0NG/pseuds/W01FS0NG
Summary: It's been some time since the Oceanic Six and I escaped from the island. What happens when some of them come to visit me? And what happens when one of them tries to convince me to go back?
Kudos: 1





	Never Going Back

**Author's Note:**

> Quotations not in parentheses are when the characters are speaking Japanese. Quotations with parentheses are in English

It’s been a little bit over two years since the crash of flight 815. I’ve been living a quiet life since the nine of us got off the island. Since only the Oceanic Six were officially rescued, no one knew that I was alive. That was fine. I preferred hiding to the spotlight anyway. I probably shouldn’t have gone back to my birth country of Japan, but at the time I craved familiarity. So no one would recognize me, I got a new name and a new hairstyle. I’m even working in a hotel. No one pays attention to the maids. 

Desmond just wanted to live life with Penny, Lapidus just wanted to live life. I wanted to hide.

I tried not to think about the island. Yet, I couldn’t help but feel as if something was missing. There was a hole in my chest somehow. I kept thinking about the island. The island disappeared shortly after the helicopter left. There was a flash of light and it moved. Even if it were unintentional, people were stuck there now. Some of them wanted to be. They didn’t want to leave the island for whatever reason. Then, there were the people who got stuck there by chance. I couldn’t sleep most days. Having an actual bed almost felt weird.

One thing was for sure. I reminded myself constantly that I was never going back no matter what. That stupid, nameless island caused me pain that I didn’t want to experience ever again. That’s another reason I didn’t want the Oceanic Six spotlight. I didn’t want a constant reminder of that place, but it was still there.

It didn’t help that Sun Kwon decided to stay at my hotel. Even though it was only for a few days, she was given one of the penthouse suits. 

I just so happen to clean the penthouse suits of the owner of the building and a bunch of other people. There are five rich and famous people with permanent penthouse residences. There was Ichigen Miwa, a very rich person rumored to be a mobster; Kuchiki Eisuke, a very rich and powerful businessman who owned the hotel; Fujiwara Kota, a famous philanthropist; Tom Shinichi, a very successful detective; and Ota Kaito, a famous artist. Kota, who used to be a very close friend, just so happened to recognize me and repeatedly requested that I clean the suits and hang out with them. I’m well known by all of them now. My friend, however, is the only one out of the five who know my real name.

Anyway, when Sun arrived, I knew I couldn’t talk with her as a friend. At least, not around anyone else. Would I even want to interact with her in that way? I mean, it’s been so long. 

I answered my own question when cleaning her room. It was the afternoon, and most of the penthouse dwellers were out by then, so I figured I’d clean hers too. Not thinking to check if she was there, I opened the door. She sat on her couch going over a few papers.

“Oh! You  _ are _ here,” I said to her in Japanese. “I’m sorry, I’ll come back at a later time.”

“Oh, no, it’s alright,” said Kwon, standing up. She held a slight smile. Her smile faded as she tried to form more words.

“(I can understand English too, Ma’am,)” I said, bringing the cart farther into the room.

“(I haven’t been out of my room the entire day,)” Sun declared. “(I suppose I should get out and stretch my legs.)” She gathered a few things and held them at her side. Glancing at me, she caught my stare. “Yes?”

Wanting to see what would happen, I asked, “(You were on one of the Oceanic Six, right?)” 

The Korean woman developed a sad expression before her head nodded. “(Yes. That’s correct.)”

“(They said you were here on business?)” I knew the answer to this question since Kota told me, but I also just wanted to make conversation.

“(Uh, yes, if you could call it that.)” I gave her a glance that told her to elaborate. “(A friend of mine disappeared. I have sources saying that she was last seen in this hotel.)”

Oh, so she’s looking for me? Wait a minute, Hinami, don’t get your hopes up just yet. She could be searching for any female friend. “(What was her name?)” 

“Sato Hinami.” I haven’t heard someone else besides myself or Kota. 

I exhaled into a smile. “(Well, you found her.)” 

With widened eyes, she walked up to me slowly. Her optics scanned me over. “Hinami?” Her smile began to beam. “(Is that really you?)”

I nodded eagerly. I really was happy to see her again. We became good friends during the 100 or so days that we were stuck on that island. “(Yeah. It’s me.)” 

Quickly, she embraced me with a squeal of delight. “(Oh my god!)” I reciprocated the tight hug. Seconds filled with relief and happiness filled the air. 

Realizing something that bothered me, I let go and stepped away. She peered at me, puzzled. “What?”

I shifted my weight. “(How, exactly, did you find me, Sun?)” 

She hesitated. Her eyes didn’t lock with mine until the last second. “(Widmore’s people-)“

“Widmore?!” I shouted, shocked that she would ever trust him. “(You’re working with Widmore?! Why?! Why would you ever do that?  _ How _ could you ever do that? He’s the one who sent-)”

“(I know!!)” she yelled harshly. “(But Jin is still on that island! I can’t not stop searching for him)!”

“(How would you even do that?! It disappeared right in front of our eyes!)” Her mouth moved to say something, but no sound was made. Sun’s demeanor became grey. “(Now if you’ll excuse me I have other penthouses to clean.)” I forced the cleaning cart to follow me as I tried not to stomp out of the room.

One day later, Sun went back to Korea.

  
  
  


Three months after Sun found me, I found myself having lunch with the penthouse dwellers in Kuchiki's place. Right in the middle of the meal, I got a phone call. The number came up as no caller ID, but Kaito requested I answer it just for kicks. There was one condition though, they all had to hear the conversation.

I sighed with, “Whatever,” as I answered the phone. “Who is this?”

“(Am I speaking to Hinami?)” I recognized that voice immediately. Sayid Jarrah. 

Wanting to keep my identity a secret from the rich and powerful, I said, “(No, I’m sorry.)” Kaito, Tom, and Miwa all adopted looks of shock. All were now equally intrigued. 

“When did you learn English?” Miwa mouthed.

“A few years ago,” I mouthed back.

“(Hello?)” came Sayid’s voice again.

“(This is Fujioka Yumi.)” That was the name these people and the rest of the staff knew me by. “(You must have the wrong number.)”

“(I see. I am sorry to have bothered you.)” I heard the click of the hang-up function.

“That was weird,” I muttered, putting my phone away. I then immediately went back to eating my food.

That night, I paced in my employee housing. I couldn’t decide on whether or not I should call him back. A small part of me wanted to just leave him be. The other part of my brain told me to call him the fuck back because I never knew if I was going to hear from him again.

Once I picked up the phone, I went to recent calls and pressed his no caller ID. It rang for at least a minute, causing me agony. I almost canceled the call before he picked up.

“(So that was you, Hinami,)” Sayid stated with a neutral tone. He probably saw the number on his little screen, not to mention knowing what my voice sounded like.

“(Yeah,)” I exhaled, shifting my weight. “(I didn’t want to talk to you then because a few friends dared me to put you on speaker. I couldn’t respond to a name they didn’t know me by.)”

“(Understandable.)” There was a brief, awkward pause. “(Listen, I just wanted to hear your voice.)”

I smiled, then frowned, becoming concerned. “(What’s going on?)”

“(Nothing, I just wanted to hear you.)” He was definitely going to do something bad and didn’t want me to worry.

I moved the phone away from my ear to hang up. “(Okay, well, you’ve heard it, so-)”

“(Wait, please? Don’t hang up.)” I could feel him giving me a puppy-dog expression. 

I sighed. “(Sayid-)”

“(What were the lyrics to the second song we heard on Hurley’s radio?)”

I hesitated in responding. Should I oblige him? I mean, we haven’t exactly left each other on good terms. We’ve had our ups and downs. One of those, as I distinctly remembered, was when I sided with Locke in going to the Barracks at the time of the Mercenaries’ arrival.

_ I felt an arm grab my wrist. “(Hinami, wait! What do you think you’re doing?)” _

_ “(I’ve made my choice, Sayid,)” I told him harshly before ripping my arm from his. _

Then, on Penny’s freighter, Sayid and I had a similar conversation.

_ It was after the Oceanic Six made their decision to lie to the world and came up with a plan. I hated it, saying that we should try to find the island again to help those who were left behind. Shortly thereafter, I stormed off. _

_ Sayid walked up to me on the outside passageway of the freighter. I stared out into the darkness of the sky and ocean. “(Hinami, I get the want to save the rest of our people-)” _

_ I scoffed and responded, “(Did they send you down here to console me?!” My eyes faced him with fury. _

_ “(Hinami, please-)” He tried to reach out and comfort me, but I smacked his hand away. _

_ “You’ve made your choice, Sayid. So leave me alone.” I then proceeded to storm away to my room. _

A large part of me told me to sing the lyrics because we were alone. No one in the room or in the call except us. “(I don’t remember some of the lyrics.)”

“(That’s fine,)” he responded with a slight chuckle.

I took in a large breath and began to sing. 

“(I don’t want to set the world on fire~

I just want to start~ a flame in your heart~

I’ve lost all ambition of worldly acclaim. 

I just want to be the one you love~

And with your admission that you feel the same,

I’ll have reached the goal I’m dreaming of~

Believe me.

I don’t want to set the world on fire~

I~ just want to start~ a flame in your heart~!”

He breathed out a laugh. “Thank you, very much old friend.”

“You’re very welcome.” He hit the hang-up button. Soon, I went straight to bed. 

A day later, I physically encountered Sayid Jarrah. I hadn’t expected it. I was only walking a cart full of leftover room service and dirty dishes. 

I got a flash of an image. “Wait! Please!” A man shouted. A muffled gunshot sounded and the man fell to the floor and died. “I’m sorry, Melanie.” I abandoned the cart and went to room 828. 

On my way there, I saw Sayid walking in the other direction. I nearly bumped into him. Our eyes locked for a second. I unlocked the door to find the man with a bullet in his forehead. Blood pooled almost like a halo in the carpet. Quickly, I grabbed my flip phone and dialed 110. 

“This is the police, what is your emergency?” a man asked on the other end of the dial. 

“A man was just shot and killed.” I failed at keeping a calm voice. Though I had seen many people get killed on the island, this one somehow hit differently. Maybe it was just because I haven’t been around a murder in two years.

“Where was this?” asked the policeman.

“In the Lotus Hotel, room 828.”

“Did you see the shooter?” I began to panic. Yes, I did, but it was Sayid. Just what was he doing?

“Uh, no. No, I didn’t.”

“Okay, Ma’am. I’m sending a few cops over. Detective Shinichi should also be arriving soon.”

After giving my statement to the police, I found myself sitting by the fountain in the plaza in front of the hotel. I haven’t experienced my weird ghost power in two years. I stared into the eternally flowing water. It reminded me of the spring in the caves. 

“(Your powers are back, aren’t they)?” I heard Sayid’s voice behind me. His reflection could be seen next to mine in the water. This man was basically the only one, besides Sun, I trusted to tell about my powers. He also taught me how to fight, use a gun, and fix a radio. 

“(Unfortunately,)” I answered, turning around. If he would move two inches to my left, he’d be blocking the sun. That’d be nice.

“(Thank you, for not reporting me, by the way.)” He bent down to fix a shoelace. 

“(Why’d you do it, anyway?)” After finishing retying his shoe, he peered up at me. 

Knowing that I wasn’t going to take any bullshit for an answer, he responded, “I was protecting you, actually.” The man stood. 

I gave him that ‘really?’ look. “(I probably could have defended myself.)” Averting my gaze to check if anyone was listening in, I continued, “(But thanks anyway. Why was he after me, and how did you find us?)” I really hoped that he wouldn’t say Widmore, especially after Locke’s visit. That only resulted in a shouting match that left an uneasy feeling within me for weeks.

He sighed. “(I’m afraid if I tell you that information, you’d get mad at me.)” He checked over his shoulder and around the plaza. “(Goodbye, Hinami.)”

“(Bye, Sayid.)” I watched him walk away and disappear in the crowd on the other side of the street. A small part of me wished he would stay, even though he probably couldn’t.

  
  
  


The years were reaching their third marker since the crash. Kota and I were hanging out on my day off. The two of us sat on lounge chairs by the outdoor pool on one of the upper levels with the other rich and famous. I was content to just have the energy to do whatever. Yet that was soon ruined with a single phone call. 

My flip phone vibrated and sounded an annoying ringtone. I received strange looks from the others. The number looked like an American one.

“(Hello?)” I answered.

“(Hinami?)” Shocked, I sat up in the chair with wide eyes.

“(Jack?)”

“(Hey, uh,)” he chuckled out of awkwardness and not knowing what to say. “(How are you?)” His voice almost sounded slurred. I wondered what time it was in Los Angeles. It was almost strange to me that this was the same man who helped rescue me from the front of the plane.

“(I’m fine, Shepherd.)” I crossed my legs. “(What’s going on?)” 

“(Uh, Locke’s dead.)” 

I stiffened. “What?” I wondered if I even heard right. This was the man who survived falling from an eight story height and a plane crash. 

“(He’s dead, he, uh, killed himself.)” Well, that’ll certainly do it. He died trying to convince those who left to come back. I almost wondered if he died to spite us.

“(How-)” I swallowed. “(How do you know?)”

“(I saw his fake name in an obituary in a newspaper, no one but me showed up to the funeral.)”

I hummed. A question still nagged at me. “(Jack, how did you get this phone number?)”

Silence swallowed our conversation. “(Benjamin Linus,)” the doctor finally gave in.

My eyes widened. How the fuck could he trust that man? Weren’t they severely at odds. “(Benjamin Linus, are you insane?! How could you possibly trust him?)” It was at that moment that something clicked. Jack had the gall to tell me what Sayid had the kindness not to.

“(Listen, that’s not exactly important right now. There’s a plane leaving from LA to Guam in two days, and you’re going to be on it.)”

I shifted in the chair. “(What makes you so sure, Jack?)”

“(Because I’m dragging you there myself.)” His voice sounded as if it were standing right next to me. Startled, I turned around to see him standing there in a business suit.

“You bastard!” I yelled at him in Japanese, pushing him gently. I wanted to slap him, but held back. I frowned. “(How did you find me, Jack?)”

“(Sun… reluctantly told me where you were.)”

I averted my gaze and muttered, “(Of course she did.)”

He took a step towards me. His eyes bore into my soul. “(We have to go back, Hinami-)”

My own eyes began to water as I shook my head. “(Jack, I-)” I could never go back there. Too much pain resided on that island. 

He placed his hands on my shoulders. “(No, listen. We never should have left in the first place. It was a mistake-)”

I tried not to sob, now remembering the ones I lost. I moved away from him. “(Jack, I can’t-)”

“(Can’t or won’t?!)” His volume startled me. Kota and the others gave me a look of concern. 

The return of my grief brought me anger. “(How dare you! You remember what happened to me there, don’t you?!)”

“(Of course I do!)”

“(Then you would think well to never even mention going back to me!!)” I didn’t even have to look at the dead bodies that surrounded me in front of the plane to hear their last thoughts. I kept seeing the same plane crash over and over again. What’s worse is that my twin sister died right next to me. 

(We have to go back,)” the doctor urged. “(If we don’t all go back, then they’re all in danger.)”

Thankfully, Miwa came to my rescue. He turned Shepherd around by placing an arm across his shoulder. The man said, “(Alright pal, that’s enough now. You’re upsetting the little lady.)” apparently, he spoke English too.

Jack tried to stop and turn back, but Miwa wouldn’t let him. “(Just think about what I said, alright?! The plane to Los Angeles leaves early in the morning.)” He managed to shake the rumored mobster off of him and head back inside.

I stared at the floor and sighed. That’s when I noticed the plane tickets resting on my coffee table. At 10:00 am tomorrow, Japanese Airlines flies from Tokyo to Los Angeles. A day later, at around the same time in the United States Pacific Coast time frame, an Ajira Airways takes off from Los Angeles to Guam. 

“That son of a bitch,” I muttered as I picked the pieces of paper up. The first steps are in my hands. Am I willing to go? No. Should I go? No?? Maybe?

Wait, what am I thinking? Of course, I’m not going to go. 

But wait, the doctor said they were all in danger! He wouldn’t have lied about that. Then again, Linus seems to be pulling the strings. If that were true, would going even be worth it?

Ugh, I wish I didn’t have to make this decision. 

“What’s that?” Kuchiki asked as he stepped out of the pool. 

“Plane tickets,” I told the owner of the hotel. Shit, am I really doing this. “Unfortunately, it seems I’ll need a two-week’s vacation. I leave tomorrow morning.”

He hummed and nodded. “Alright.” The man quickly glanced at the tickets before going away. “Be sure to pack your things tonight then.” Thanks for the advice, but I’m pretty sure I’ll only need comfortable clothes and a purse.

Kota approached me. “Are you sure about this?”

“No,” I sighed. “But if there’s a chance that my friends are in danger, I’ll go.” Jin, Sawyer, and everyone else was still stuck there. Who knows what happened to them while the island moved.

No, I was going to do this. Not for Locke, and not even for myself. People needed my help. Heck, I might even die on this trip, and it could very well take longer than two weeks. Fucking, Jack guilting me into doing this. I sighed, getting up to change and clean stuff despite it being my day off.


End file.
